Saying goodbye is just all over hard.....

So today I thought I would make a blog about saying goodbye. I guess this was brought up because my friend has to put her dog to sleep today. So that got me thinking about all the goodbyes in the horse world. It’s the same really as any goodbye to an animal. However what makes it hard is that they don’t know if you are gone for good or coming back later. I think one of the hardest horsey goodbyes I have ever had to do was when I had to say goodbye to the very first horse I had trained, Pilgrim. Sure he was not the best horse in the world, but I had gotten really close to him. Not like I am with Daisy, but pretty close. He was another rider’s leased horse and because of health issues, she could not really train him much. So I offered to help her out, which turned into almost an everyday thing. At his old place all he did was stand around and graze all day. No one would even brush him. After I started working with him and giving him attention Pilgrim had gotten to where every time I would come he would meet me at the gate, nuzzle my pocket for treats, nudge my hand to pet him and all this other stuff. He would even fallow me everywhere without the halter on. He was also a very quite horse that had a lot of personality. Well one day I get a text from his leaser saying that he has to go back to his home because she can no longer afford the board unless I was willing to pay about half. Now only making minimum wage is clearly not enough to board a horse and I knew it as much as I hated it. So after about two weeks passed, it was the last day I would ever get to see Pilgrim. I decided to take him on a leisurely trail ride because that’s what he loved best. He loved to run on the open prairie the most. Then when we got back I just decided to pet him and give him all the treats he could ever want until my mom came to pick me up. I was bound and determined not to cry because cowgirls don’t cry. Even though my heart was breaking so much. My mom then showed up and it was time to put him in the round pen so he could be loaded the next morning into the trailer. I put him in the round pen and I could just see the sadness in his eyes. I told him that I would miss him and that he would always have a special place in my heart. I then got in the car. He watched the car and never turned his head away from it. Just as we were about to pull out I heard the loudest whinny I had ever heard. It was Pilgrim whinnying at the car. That was when I just lost it. I realized how much he meant to me and that it would be hard. However life moves on. I am sure Pilgrim is a nice pasture wherever he is. As a wise priest once told me, “sometimes it may take millions of tears to mend the hole in your heart.” As hard as goodbyes are, they are never goodbye, just a see you later. Whether or not you believe in heaven, you will see them again someday.